Dating Diversity

Get Ahead of the Game


If you are hoping I have tips to help you date the likes of members from the 2009 Britain's Got Talent winning Dance Troupe, then you will be disappointed.  However if you want to immerse yourself in the discussion of dating members from the diverse society we have in the UK and many other parts of the world, then do read on.




Know Yourself


Individually we are the sum of genetics and experiences.  The scientific world has, for some time, acknowledged the importance of both sociology and biology in our individual make up.    The extent of the influences of the two and the extent to which they are entwined continues to fascinate psychologists in the nature-nurture debate.  The science of biology is continuously discovering amazing things regarding our genes.    What we may have once thought of as purely being the result of a socialisation dysfunction leading to poor lifestyle choices, may in fact be due to a genetic predilection (for example susceptibility to certain conditions such as obesity, or addictions: and in this case food addiction links in nicely with the mentioned condition - obesity).  Personally I think we will have to leave the scientists to hypothesise, theorise and conclude success or otherwise, amongst themselves, as we look at socialisation.  We are taught to conform to the society in which we are raised through our parents, and then through the institutions of school, religion and the workplace.  These are our primary and secondary socialisations respectively, which have evolved within our families, our communities and our countries throughout history. 


Know Yourself Through History

Historically Britain, for the past two millennia, has integrated cultures from the far-flung corners of the planet.  By 77AD Britannia became part of the Roman Empire.  Over a hundred years of invasions and resistances led to this moment (omitting Scotland as part of the equation).  Trade and industry flourished and the Romans physically stamped their mark upon us with roads, spas, buildings and towns.  In 312AD the Emperor Constantine, due to his own conversion, made Christianity legal.  The polytheistic pagan faiths of pre-Roman, Anglo-Saxon and Viking Britain eventually gave way to Christianity, it merely took several hundred years for it's integration.

From this site we cannot only see the history of our cultural and religious heritage but how immigration overtook invasions to instil the present multi-faith fabric we have in Britain.  "The 20th century sees two World Wars, the dismantling of Empire and decolonisation - all of which impact on the religious landscape of Britain, ushering in an era of secularisation and a breakdown of traditional religious authority. But this era also brings larger communities of Muslims, Sikhs, Hindus and Black Christians from far-flung parts of the Empire to help with the post-war reconstruction of Britain."  I believe it is important to be aware of how the British people came about.  Many of us can trace our ancestors to the mainland of Europe and beyond, to the other continents.  This story in itself is repeated throughout the ancient and modern world due to empires rising, conquering, and falling.

Know Your Date Through Their History

You may find yourself attracted to someone of a different ethnicity/culture/race to your own but your fear of the unknown makes you reticent in approaching her.  So do you bypass the opportunity due to lack of knowledge, or worse due to ill-informed prejudices?

You could go and camp out in your local library researching cultures, sub-cultures, religions and histories, but chances are you would not then find time to actually date. How about arming yourself with some facts and thereby vanquishing some of the unknown.  Do a little homework and I am sure your date will be thrilled at the effort you have made.  

Religion: is a good starting place, for many cultures have evolved around religion and its practices.  Did you know that Judaism, Islam and Christianity have one very strong connection?  They are Abrahamic faiths.  Put simply this means the God of Abraham is Yahweh, Jehovah and Allah.  Yes different names for the same omnipotent being.  Hindus are known for worshipping many Gods and Goddesses, but if you look into their religion you will discover these divinities are manifestations of one almighty power, Brahman. They understand "God" is beyond comprehension of mere mortals and worship these manifestations as different aspects of the One.  Yoga originates from Hindu as a way to connect with the Divine.  Buddhism, Jainism and Sikhism are all offshoots of Hinduism. The Oriental religions of Taoism (aka Daoism) and Confucianism (Chinese origin) and Shinto (Japanese origin) are very much concerned with the Cosmos as opposed to a named all powerful divinity.  Ch'i is the vital life force which runs through everything and connects all, and as such humans are expected to live harmoniously with it.  Deities have often been adopted from older religions, other regions, or are historical notables who have been deified; all are venerated alongside ancestors.  Feng-shui, originally used to find auspicious sites for certain buildings, has its roots in Taoism.

Language: it is unlikely your prospective date cannot speak English, but have you considered how enthralled he may be if you was to greet him in his mother tongue?  Even better if your accent is so far removed from the language you are attempting.  This ice-breaker can cause you both to laugh as he tries to correct your twang.  Try here for multiple translation options and to hear the foreign word or words.

Prior to meeting F, I had engaged in sending texts in French via the mobile telephone. During our relationship I also made the effort, at least in part, writing in French within the emails and also prose which I wrote.  Speaking French with him was an arduous task, unfortunately due to an unforgiving ear: his, and my awful accent.  I was much better at the written word.  I do, however, still attempt  a few simple words in greeting patients whose native language is not English.  

Expectations: will you be concerned over how you should dress when meeting your prospective date?  I would suggest you dress according to the chosen venue.  If you should happen to choose a seaside venue, I would strongly recommend that you avoid emulating Borat at all costs.  If you are going on a dinner date and are concerned about Halal, Kosher, forbidden foods, vegetarianism, then DO discuss this prior to the date.  There are similarities between kosher and halal prepared foods and their lists of permissible and forbidden foods:  Jews and Muslims will not eat pigs, nor consume the blood of animals.  Do not be hoping to seduce any Jewish lady with oysters and lobsters for these are forbidden also, only fish with scales and fins may be eaten.  Many Muslims consider creatures of the ocean naturally Halal.  Most  Hindus are vegetarian but of those who do eat meat, do not be offering a juicy steak, as the cow is considered sacred.

The bottom line is that you immediately open the doors of communication with your prospective date.  Talk to them and ask them questions.  After-all, although a pizza restaurant may seem a safe bet, your Jewish guy will not be wanting to sample your meat feast pizza when dairy foods should not be presented with meat products!